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The probability of prevention was a little too low for comfort.The following encounter Alex tried to insert himself inside me and wouldn't stop until I got angry. I hated it. I hated disappointing my partner. I hated not being able to feel everything, and I hated losing the intimacy of having nothing between us. We actually found ourselves having intercourse much less often opting to please each other orally or manually.I continued to reach for the condoms located somewhere in my underwear drawer even though Alex was protesting. I was in an awkward position and ended up with the lower half of my body on the bed while supporting most of my weight with a hand on the floor as I fumbled trying to find the box of condoms.It was exquisite but not unexpected. Alex half lifted me so that he could get access to my sex with his mouth. I took this as his attempt to prevent me from getting at the condoms. If this was the case, then he succeeded as I immediately got that brief ache that comes. After doing the breakfast dishes, I'd finishgetting dressed. Then we had practice in applying clothes and make-up for various occasions--daytime or evening--or for various feminineroles--nymphet, career woman, tramp, or what have you.The rest of the day was spent either finishing off my one remainingconsulting job or in some kind of feminine activity--housework,laundering, ironing, or sometimes reading women's magazines. Andshopping. Pam went with me the first couple of times; after that Iwent on my own, usually with a shopping list she drew up for me. Andevery evening there was more programming, always with me in lingerieand hose. Every other night, or every third, we had sex, and everytime she had me eat her clean afterward.The programming seemed to be working, some of it very powerfully.I'm pretty sure that was the reason I was able to shop for women'sclothes, and for women's magazines, without feeling uncomfortable.I had expected that I would gradually come to feel at home in.
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